Spread Your Wings and Fly

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

I spent the weekend with my mother. We talked about her death. She told me "I'm going to die this year", and hearing that made me sick to my stomach but I stayed calm. I didn't agrue with her and I didn't try to make her feel better. I just listened. She told me what I should with the stuff in her apartment.....her home, her bank accounts, comforts, everything.......even her cat. We went over the details of what she wanted. Her furniture to the Purple Heart, coats to the women she works with, the family stuff my brother and I should keep, where the cat case is and what to do with her plants. It was so hard and so sad. Even now it's making me cry just writing this and I can't even imagine how she felt. I'm sure, I know she'd been thinking about it. She had it all figured out. I don't know, would it be a comfort knowing that it's all taken care of.....knowing I know what to do? It must be, and I know she's counting on me. I can't even think of the day I walk into her home and she's gone. I don't know if I can I do it. I'm not telling you this for any other reason than to just share my feelings. I know you understand and you're the only whom I can share this. I'm scared, upset and so sad.

Posted by J.J. :: 12:26 AM :: 0 Comments:

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